One of My Five Memories-Precious as Gold

So today in class we shared our five memories. I sat there and wondered how people had the courage to go up there and share thier "cry" and "precious as gold" memories. You see I had thought of it last night and I really didnt want to mess with the most important memory to me, I didnt want to cry in front of the class. So i only had four objects. ...I sat there in the tense still room, looking over to Jade every once in a while, not knowing how to contain myself anymore. But now I have the chance to share what i didnt share in class.

So the 16 th of october 2003, my brother passed away. At the time he was only 11 years old, i was devasted. He was way too young, he had just started middle school and had had several girlfriends already. He was my partner in crime, he was my posse! We always came up with the most spectacuar things to do, I would even dress him up with he was young enough to let me! One time we were playing while i had to do chores. So i was vaccuming and he was on the couch sticking his hand in front of the roaring heavy machine... But then it happened, I ran over his hand! I immediately regreted it, but it was too late! -We would always play with the cusions from the couch, but one time I dont know how my head ended up under a cushion under his butt! Yea my head was going to pop! But it was funny at the same time, so it took a while to get him off becuase i was laughing. The last memory i do have that is very important to me was the night before the incedent. During the time the house was getting remodeled so me, my brother, and my sister would sleep in the living room. That night my sister had already fallen asleep and it was just me and him talking. So I got around to asking about his girlfriend, and he told me a little about her. I asked him if they had kissed and he didnt want to tell me. So I asked if they would hold hands, and he said yes. So i asked him how and grabbed his hand. First i held it regular and he said it wasnt like that, then we interlocked hands and he laughed saying it was like that. Then we stayed holding hands, told eachother good night and that we loved eachother. The next morning he woke me up for school and told me not to forget a show to watch that night, and those were the last things we talked about.
There are just so many things that we did together, so many things around me that remind me of him. It really sucks to loose someone so close, its hard to keep going without someone that means so much to you. Now every night before i fall asleep i think of him. I fall asleep wondering how it would be if he was still here, how my day would of been different that day. And in the morning I wake up to a picture of him at my dresser that i always look at and smile.


But one thing i have learned is that we must appreciate who we have now. And now i think that this has made me stronger and i know im a little less fearless.